a bonobo humanity?

The other day I was in a cafe in the inner suburbs here, eating lunch, reading, wondering what to write about next, when in walked a tall dark stranger. She was dressed in black slacks and a black puff-sleeve top over a white shirt – very corporate to my mind. Though I didn’t see her face as she walked to the counter I could see by her hands she was African, most likely. She was very very slim and well over six feet tall. Striking, to put it mildly. I thought of the Masai people, but a quick bit of research brings up the Dinka and the Nuer of South Sudan. I couldn’t stop gawking, and was rewarded as she turned and walked right by me to take up a seat at the back of the cafe. She couldn’t have been more than 20 years old, and was surely the world’s most beautiful woman (I’ve observed quite a few of those).

I had to chuckle. I’ll be 70 next July and I’m five foot six at full stretch. And I had to wonder, too. Is being a very tall woman as much of a ‘problem’ as being a small man? Forget sports – low centre of gravity, great height and reach, etc etc. As for being well short of the average, all the way through school I was picked on, generally in a ‘good-natured’ way. I was popular enough, perhaps because I never complained, certainly not to the authorities. Not just because I wanted to be liked, though that was surely part of it, but mostly because I was fully anti-authoritarian. My peers were my mates, or to be avoided (and sometimes to be worshipped from afar); the teachers were mostly just low-lifes.

The real problem with being a short male though, is this strange equation of shortness with some kind of ‘non-seriousness’ especially during youth. Tall boys just aren’t picked on and pushed about the way short boys are, whether or not they’re physically strong. Within reason, that is. If you’re a short weight-lifter who likes to show off his muscles, maybe not, but…

So there’s three occasions forever stuck in my memory. The first two were more or less identical. I was surrounded during break-time outside of our first-floor classroom, lifted and turned upside down, hoisted over the bannister of the stairwell, and jiggled and shaken merrily by a half-dozen or so classmates. I was compos mentis enough to note that the two young gentlemen gripping my legs were our most celebrated athletes, but I still had images of my heart slipping out of my throat and plopping sloppily onto the bottom steps some 20 feet or so below (I’ve never measured it).

How long did these hijinks last? Isn’t it funny how time passes slowly when death’s in the air. But don’t worry the other piece of fun was less deadly. There was a large papier-mâchéd box outside the school library (class project no doubt) designed for putting in book returns, pretty well just the right size for a mini-student like me to be stuffed into. And so they did, leaving my legs to dangle outside the box for anyone to see. So the school bell rang, everyone went back to class, and I waved my legs merrily, waiting to be rescued. But nobody came – of course, nobody used the library in my school. So, after a while I thought of escape, which was quite easy – the box was wired shut and a bit of jiggling and pulling soon freed me….

Reflecting on these memories has upturned more, but the point is clear. Little kids just aren’t taken as seriously as big kids. And if they stay little, they won’t become Presidents or ‘leaders of men’ – or women. Height restrictions in some occupations make sense, I suspect most don’t. And, of course, short people earn less than tall people, on average.

It’s quite tragic – look at Trump (sorry, don’t) – six feet three inches of unadulterated wanker. Robert Reich, one of the USA’s finest political leaders and a true humanist, suffered fatally, so to speak, for being four foot eleven. Of all the dumb criteria for measuring a person’s worth – think of those dwarves – Dopey, Grumpy, Sleazey, whatever, what chance did they have with Snow White?

So I’m wondering how many full-blown libertarians are my size. It’s a silly thing to wonder about, surely, and yet…